I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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