Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
