Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
