we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
