she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
