is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
