I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize