Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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