Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
