Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
