This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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