I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
