Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
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