I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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