One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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