if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
