i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm at about main and main street
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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