True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
