I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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