I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
