Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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