I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
