There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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