I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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