U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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