all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
