my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Randomize
