never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
