i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you had me at cake vodka
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
