she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
