The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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