You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
