There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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