What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he thought i was a dude.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
