I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
