Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Randomize
