Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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