i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
