Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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