i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
