just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
