would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize