i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
