Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
