She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he fucked my hip out of place.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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