I CAN MOONWALK!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
