You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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