On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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