Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Are my feet made of real feet?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
