This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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