i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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