Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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