I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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