He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
