Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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