and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
