I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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