now i know why i became what i already was.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize