Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
