so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
