no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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