If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
