im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
