I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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