It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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