arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
