R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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