My sheets look like a crime scene.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
