I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
