Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize