they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
