yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
