You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize