Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
