The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
