FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
