oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
